my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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