I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
