take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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