The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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