she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
