i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
