I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
