remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
