shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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