her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize