True but thats because hes a fetus.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
