Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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