Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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