He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
