We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
