I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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