he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
