My friends, they love my intelligence
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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