God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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