I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
