If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
