Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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