I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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