So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
My friends, they love my intelligence
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
