I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
