She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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