So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
