this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
