just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
