Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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