I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
