Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
