bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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