I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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