But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
