Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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