And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
