dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
