Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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