my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
is wine microwaveable?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
