found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
