I think I just saw someone hide a body.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
