The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
