did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
