i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
