kristin has been a bad kristin
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
