I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
