woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This house was built for laser tag.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
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You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
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Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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