Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
