what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
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This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
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Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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