Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
