My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
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I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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