their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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