Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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