Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
