I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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