he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize