People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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