Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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