shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ketchup is God's man juice
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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