he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
