Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
