On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
