I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Randomize
