What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
