so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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