It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
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Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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