Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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