HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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