The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The Olympian is in my bed
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
